THE holidays should be spent with loved ones . . . but what if you are a mistress?

The festive period is when people are most likely to CHEAT on their spouses.

In a survey for “married dating” website Illicit Encounters, 85 per cent said the holidays made them feel more passionate.

But as families celebrate together, how do lovers survive the festive period? Three women and one man set out their experiences of being the lover over the holidays.

  • Additional reporting: Amy Jones (Names may have been changed)

'Spending time with his family made me feel so guilty'

MANCHESTER business owner Rebecca Jane, 37, was racked with guilt after spending time with her married lover’s kids at Christmas. She says:

"WE met through work and began our affair in November 2020. At first it was wonderful but Christmas was the beginning of the end. I realised this man wasn’t mine and couldn’t stop thinking of the devas­t­a­tion our affair could have on his family.

"This man and I had been very good friends for a few years and he’d made a few advances but I’d always said no. But after going through a bad break-up late last year, it all changed.

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"There had always been a spark but finally he told me he’d loved me since the moment he met me and couldn’t “not act on it” any more. We were physical within days and in love in no time. Because we’d been so close before, it was easy to hide it.

"We were always on the phone to each other or in meetings. But they weren’t exactly business meetings any more. I didn’t realise how wrong it was until the festive period hit. I was close with this man and his wife before things changed, so I spent time with them and their families.

"Suddenly I realised the enormity of what we were doing and how many people could get hurt. I didn’t want to be the reason a family was torn apart. We carried on for a while after Christmas but I never recovered from those feelings of guilt and ended things between us in April. He didn’t feel guilty and didn’t take it well.

When I look back, I now wish I’d turned him down when he told me how he felt about me. The devastation was cata­strophic.

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"After that we kept clashing about small stuff. Eventually it got to the point where we couldn’t work together. I had to leave my job and set up my own firm. Loads of people left the business and eventually it all imploded. His wife found out and was naturally very upset.

"She wrote a letter to my parents saying how disappointed she was in me and how she had trusted me. When I look back, I now wish I’d turned him down when he told me how he felt about me. The devast­ation was cata­strophic."

'I can’t wait to spend two days with him – having sex in hotel'

RECEPTIONIST Katie Nichols, 23, from Essex, loves being a mistress. Over the festive period she enjoys great sex with her married man and loves being pampered during the holidays. Katie says:

"THERE are lots of positives about being a mistress over Christmas. You get spoiled rotten with expensive gifts and fancy, romantic dinners. But it can also be quite lonely.

"I’ve been seeing my married man for two years. He’s in his forties and runs a property management business. Last year I found the festive holidays quite hard, as Covid made it impossible to see each other.

"On the big day, he was so busy with his wife and kids I didn’t hear from him all day. It hurt but I’ll be more prepared this year — and more realistic. When you’re a mistress, you have to accept your man will spend important holidays with his family.

"It’s not always easy but you can’t complain if you knew the deal from the start. And I did. To make up for the time lost over Christmas, we are going to a fancy hotel for a weekend away.

"I’ve made a playlist with loads of love songs to get us in the mood and I’ve bought sexy lingerie to surprise him. I can’t wait to spend two days uninterrupted with him, waking up together in bed and spending most of the day together having sex.

"He’s booked us a luxury hotel in the country where we won’t have to worry about anyone spotting us. We have a plush room with a free-standing bath and I can’t wait to drink champers and get naughty together in there.

"We are going to find a cosy pub and have a roast dinner so we have our “Christmas meal” together. I don’t feel guilty. He says he’s a better husband after seeing me, as he’s happier, so that makes me feel better. My friends worry I’ll get attached and expect him to leave his wife and kids, but I won’t. I enjoy all the best parts of being a mistress without any of the messiness that comes with it."

'He’s showering me with gifts and leaving his wife'

CALL centre admin worker Emma Rivett, 26, from Brighton is keen to spend the testive season apart from her married lover – but aims to be his only woman by next Christmas. She says:

"I refuse to be the typical crying mistress at Christmas. I’m a modern woman and being in any relationship means sacrifices and giving each other space. I didn’t intend to start dating a married man. I met him in August at a friend’s party and we hit it off.

"He told me he had a wife. I was getting over a failed relationship so wasn’t looking for anything serious. But as we got to know each other, feelings grew. Within two months I was in love and we were planning a life together.

"This Christmas my man is showering me with gifts — including clothes and jewellery — as well as helping me pay for my masters degree in business. He’s also taking me on holiday, Covid permitting, for a week in January.

"But I’m not with him for the money. We share the same dreams. He says he will leave his wife after Christmas. We’ve put down a deposit on a house and plan to move in next February.

"It’s why being away from him this Christmas is liberating and enjoyable. I’m using the holidays to prioritise my family and friends. And it will be a test for our relationship.

This Christmas my man is showering me with gifts — including clothes and jewellery — as well as helping me pay for my masters degree in business.

"If my man lets me down then I’ll end up single again. If he doesn’t, then it will be great for us as a couple. I know that breaking up is messy and I want to give him the gift of time this Christmas.

"I’m not kidding myself — he may not leave the missus. But if he doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be. If your festive joy is determined by whether a man is with you, you clearly don’t get the true meaning of Xmas." 

'We’ve planned a naughty pre-Xmas night together'

BUSINESSMAN Sam Johnson, 32, from Norbury, South West London, loves being “the other man” after meeting a married woman online. Sam says:

"MY lover is older than me and married with kids. I met her six months ago on a hooking-up site. As soon as we matched, she was up-front about being married.

"I admired her honesty and as I’m not after a committed relationship, it seemed like the perfect arrangement — no-strings sex, just enjoying the physical connection with no obligation to commit.

"The first time we met, we went for a drink at a hotel bar. We hit it off and she oozed confidence and sex appeal. We booked into a hotel room and finished our drinks upstairs. The sex was wild.

"She wasn’t shy and was up for adventurous positions and having sex in the shower. She didn’t stay the night, as she had to get back to her husband. It felt naughty and the secrecy turned us on.

"We agreed to meet once a week at my place or a hotel. Every time we see each other, it’s fun and uncomplicated. She has no desire to leave her husband and I have no in­erest in a full-time relationship.

"This will be my first Christmas as her “other man” and I’m not expecting to hear from her on Christmas Day. I won’t take it to heart. I know she’s busy with her family and I’ll be busy with mine. Although we won’t see each other on the big day, we are planning a naughty night together a few days before. As she works away a lot on business, it’s easy for her to sneak off for a night.

"She doesn’t live too far away from me so she is going to come over for Christmas dinner. We’ll eat some food then play some sex games. We won’t complicate things by buying one another gifts. That’s too “coupley”. She’s the only present I want to unwrap under the Christmas tree."

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