WHEN you first start dating someone new, it's all too easy to get swept up in the romance of it all – which is why so many couples crash and burn once they're past the honeymoon stage.

So if you fancy saving yourself some heartache, you might just want to take a leaf out of Jeff Guenther's book.


Earlier this year, the US-based relationship therapist shared a list of 10 questions you should ask your partner by the time you've been together three months.

To begin with, the expert said it's important to establish how often you'll be spending time together in the week to avoid future conflict.

He explained: "How often do they want to see you? By now you shouldn’t be feeling uncertain about whether or not you’re going to see each other over the weekend."

What's more, Jeff says you need to figure out at the three month mark what you actually are to each other.

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He continued: "Are you exclusive or still open to seeing other people? Either way, there should be some clarity at this point."

In any relationship, there's always going to be arguments – so Jeff urged people to figure out how your partner approaches conflict sooner rather than later.

The expert added: "Are they conflict avoidant? Even if there hasn’t been much of a disagreement yet, do they address things directly or sweep them under the rug?"

On a lighter note, the expert said it's important to determine whether your partner is into public displays of affection (PDAs) too.

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He said: "What’s their stance on PDA? Are you making out on the dancefloor or are they only comfortable with holding hands in public?"

Additionally, it's worth asking your partner how often they want to hear from you in the day so both of you know what to expect going forward.

Jeff continued: "How often do they want to text during the day? Because there’s a fine line between feeling connected and being overwhelmed."

If you see a real long-term future with your new partner, Jeff says it's ideal to talk about where you fall on the "political spectrum" to confront any awkwardness.

The 10 questions to ask in the first 90 days:

1. How often do they want to see you?

2. Are you exclusive or still open to seeing other people?

3. Are they conflict avoidant?

4. What’s their stance on PDA?

5. How often do they want to text during the day?

6. Where do they fall on the political spectrum?

7. Is this relationship a priority to them or do they value other things more?

8. Are their bad habits tolerable?

9. Can you trust this person?

10. What are their deal breakers and must-haves in relationships?

Even though it might seem like it's early days, Jeff said it's worth looking out for signs that the relationship is a "priority" for your new partner too.

And while everyone has their annoying habits, Jeff urged new couples to keep an eye out for any potential dealbreakers around this point in your relationship before you get even more invested.

He added: "Can you trust this person? Because by now you've gotten a pretty good idea of who they are and how they show up for you."

And most importantly of all, the relationship urged couples to discuss their must-haves before you hit the 90-day period to avoid any nasty surprises.

"I use the three-month time as a deadline," one viewer agreed. "If I’m not excited about moving forward, time to end things."

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Another added: "I wish I heard this one year ago, maybe it could have saved our relationship. Sad thing, I didn’t know how to approach such needs with him."

"I ask about religion and politics while still in the app stage," a third wrote. "It's that important."

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