A video posted on TikTok in September 2022 by a 25-year-old mother from the UK set off a lively argument among parents. In it she listed the everyday choices that, she said, lead other people to call her a bad mum, and added that her son was a happy and healthy baby.
Her list included not sterilising bottles and dummies before every use, skipping tummy time because her son disliked it, letting him watch a sensory video for half an hour while she tidied the house, letting him stay up until 11pm when the parents go to bed and bringing him into her bed if he woke in the night. She also said she had not washed new clothes before he wore them and had not taken pregnancy vitamins.
The clip was viewed tens of thousands of times. Many commenters said they recognised their own shortcuts and welcomed her honesty, while others questioned some of the choices, particularly about sleep.
What the guidance says
Sterilising. The NHS advises sterilising all bottle-feeding equipment, including bottles and teats, until a baby is at least 12 months old, because milk left in equipment can grow bacteria that young babies are less able to fight.
Tummy time. The UK Chief Medical Officers’ guidelines recommend that babies who are not yet mobile spend at least 30 minutes a day on their tummy, spread across the day while they are awake and supervised. Short sessions on a parent’s chest count, and many babies tolerate it better as they get stronger.
Sleep. Safer sleep charities say the safest place for a baby to sleep for the first six months is a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as the parents. Families who do share a bed are advised to follow safer sleep steps, and never to share a bed if either adult has been drinking, smoking or taking drugs, or if the baby was born prematurely or small. Sleeping with a baby on a sofa or armchair is advised against in all cases.
Screens. The World Health Organization recommends no screen time for children under one.
Pregnancy vitamins. The NHS recommends 400 micrograms of folic acid a day before conception and up to 12 weeks of pregnancy, and 10 micrograms of vitamin D a day throughout pregnancy.
There is no official rule on what time a baby should go to bed, and health visitors generally focus on a calm, consistent routine rather than a set hour. Parents who are unsure about any of these points can ask their health visitor or GP for advice that fits their own baby.
Sources: NHS guidance on sterilising baby bottles and on vitamins in pregnancy, UK Chief Medical Officers' physical activity guidelines (2019), The Lullaby Trust safer sleep advice, World Health Organization guidance on screen time for children under five (2019).