BELIVE it or not, getting what you want in life is actually pretty easy – and you don't need to have a lot of money to do it.
According to body language expert Judi James, achieving your goals in life is all about two key disciplines -how you think and how you behave.
Here, Judi provides Fabulous with a quick guide to success which cover both these vital areas – so what are you waiting for.
1. Know your goals and who you are
Dreams are vague but goals should be concrete and achievable, Judi says, and the more precise and detailed you can be the easier it is to start making plans.
She also suggests setting a deadline for everything, which often makes dreams easier to achieve.
As for understanding yourself, Judi says to know your personal charisma, as that's what sells and persuades people.
"Be aware of your own positive qualities and practice describing them in a full-length mirror," she says.
2. Focus on the gaps, not the barriers and don't fear failure
While it's easy to stress about reasons why you won’t get what you want, work out how you can and think positive – the only real fail is when you give up without trying.
Judi also says to be confident, but not arrogant as confidence sells but arrogance is a turn-off.
But it's ok if you look or sound a little nervous in an interview or a meeting, because it can show how seriously you’re taking it.
Judi explains: "If you’re pitching for a job or promotion or a pay rise go armed with all the benefits you would bring and use proof of your talents or skills rather than just your own opinions.
"And keep the WIIFM factor in mind: ‘What’s in it for me?’ will be uppermost in the other person’s mind.
3. Sell to yourself first and inspire, but don't push
Trying to sell yourself or your skills and talents to someone else when you’re not convinced about them yourself is a no-no, according to Judi
When you have a positive, realistic idea of your strengths, your confidence will show through in your body language.
Trying to persuade someone else of something you’re uncertain about yourself is always risky.
Additionally, Judi explains that inspirational selling makes people want to buy into your ideas but pushing will make them push back.
4. Visualise your success
Like an actor going on stage it will help your confident body language signals if you have rehearsed beforehand, Judi says.
"Close your eyes and see your meeting or interview going well, with a successful outcome," she explained.
"The more you rehearse your confident approach in your mind the easier it will be to look confident during your meeting or interview."
5. Hit the ground running
If you’re meeting face-to-face on a date or interview make a great entrance and a great first impression.
While handshakes or hugs might be out at the moment thanks to Covid-19, there are other ways.
Pull up to full height, push your shoulders back and down to break any muscle tension and imagine you’re greeting a friend so that your facial muscles relax- resulting in a genuine-looking smile.
"People sum us up in the first few seconds, "she says, "and even when they are wrong it can create an Attribution Bias, where they stick to their assumptions with or without the proof."
What's more, Judi says you should always use an eye-connect signal to create eye contact with an eye-smile.
6. Video like a pro
This year has seen a boom in Zoom meetings, so if this is the case for you the same rule about first impressions will apply.
Some tips from Judi include raising your laptop or tablet on books so you’re not peering down into it, and check you’re framed nicely rather than just featuring the top of your head on screen.
She also says to have the light source in front of you rather than behind, but avoid any obvious filters that make you look like a cartoon princess rather than a real woman.
7. Relax your mouth and breathe
Before you begin to speak press the tip of your tongue into the roof of your mouth, Judy explains.
It relaxes the jaw muscles and helps avoid the tight top lip you can get when you’re nervous.
Additionally, taking a deep breathe can cause muscle tension but breathing out gently will relax your body and your voice.
"Blowing the breath onto the tips of your fingers can enhance the feeling of relaxation," she adds.
8. Use assertive body language
Judi suggests avoids self-diminishing, so that's sitting hunched and with your legs and arms crossed- but crossing just your legs is fine.
Instead,place your elbows on the arms of your chair to create a subtle splay that will project confidence and avoid fiddling with your hands.
9. Use power gestures
Just like using assertive body language, power gestures can benefit you in a great way.
Judi says that open, relaxed hand gestures will add to your impression of confidence but not if you’re waving them in the air.
She recommends keeping your gestures below shoulder height and use them for illustration or emphasis while you talk.
10. Listen and mirror
People are always more convinced by those who have listened to their views first, Judi explains.
Use eye contact to show active listening and nod to register understanding – plus a small head tilt shows interest.
Additionally,like-bodied behaviour suggests like-minded thinking so buiild rapport with someone by subtly mirroring their body language.
But never mirror any high-status signals during a meet with the boss, Judi explains, and match their tone and their energy.
We previously revealed how wearing black can help you ace a job interview while wearing silver will guarantee you’ll have a good night out.
Plus a mum claims five simple hacks have changed her life – such as putting two sheets on kids’ beds and using a ‘car sponge’.
And we shared the mind-blowing hidden purposes of everyday objects – from tiny button on your jeans to the hole in your frying pan handle.
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