DEAR DEIDRE: I CHEATED on my girlfriend, having drunken sex with her best friend. It seemed like fun at the time, but now I feel so guilty.
My girlfriend and I are both 29 and we have been together for five years. I was immature when we first went started going out and not ready to settle down, so I often cheated on her.
But I really thought those days were behind me and last month I even agreed to start planning our wedding.
One of our group was celebrating her 30th on a Thursday night. We are all about the same age and about ten of us met up in the pub. We all got pretty drunk and went back to the home of one of the girls when the pub shut.
My girlfriend wasn’t there as she had to get up early the next day for a job interview and couldn’t risk being late or hungover.
Her best mate and I started chatting, just as friends, about whether she was likely to get the job. But mutual attraction — or alcohol — overtook us and we soon ended up in one of the bedrooms upstairs and had very enjoyable sex.
One of the others came into the bedroom thinking it was empty and saw the two of us in bed together. She told another friend and word got about.
My girlfriend heard a couple of days later and went ballistic. I denied it, saying I was just asleep under the duvet.
At first, she believed me. But her friends told her I’m lying and now she believes them.
She has fallen out with her best friend big-time and she won’t even talk to me. She thinks I’m total scum. I’d promised myself that I was going to be faithful and I feel really bad about myself.
I have a young son from an earlier relationship. He is only eight now but what would he think of a father who behaves like that?
UP to half of women lose interest in sex.
Often it is due to issues in their relationship or their past.
Partners can struggle to know how to help.
My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire can help.
Email me at the address below or private message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: Of course you made a massive error in having sex with your girlfriend’s best mate, but is it a mere coincidence that it happened just as you’d agreed to start planning your wedding?
How was your family life as a child? Was your dad settled and reliable, or did he cheat on your mum or disappear out of your lives?
Maybe you have no model in your mind of a man who is happily settled in a loving relationship.
Tell your girlfriend that you are very sorry, and that you intend to explore why you let her down so badly and how to make sure you never behave like that again.
My e-leaflet Can’t Be Faithful? will help you get started.
And make sure that you are a reliable dad for your son. See him regularly, have him over to stay and find activities that you can share with him. Be the responsible role model he needs.
Source: Read Full Article