DEAR DEIDRE: FOR over ten years I’ve been in denial about my son’s parentage, but last night a film triggered overwhelming paranoia that my ten-year-old’s dad may not be my husband after all.
I’m 34 and my husband is 36 and he’s a great family man.
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When we started dating, it was different. I was low on his priorities, well behind his friends, who he saw on Saturday nights as I sat at home.
I worked in an accounts office then and was 23. An intern joined us. He was 21 and lovely.
We went out for a drink a couple of times. I didn’t see the harm in it as I wasn’t sure my relationship was going to last.
We had sex one night in his car. It wasn’t great and he used a condom.
The next day I was due to have my period but nothing happened.
I waited, then did a test on day five, which was positive.
I’d been having unprotected sex with my now-husband at the time.
I told him I was pregnant and he was thrilled.
I pushed away all guilty feelings about my one-night stand and got swept up in the excitement of motherhood and marriage.
And the best part was my husband changed, becoming supportive through my pregnancy, and although his friends came to our wedding, I was absolutely at the top of his priority list.
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My son doesn’t look like the intern — he actually looks like my husband.
But I keep overthinking everything. Is it too late to do a DNA test now?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s never too late. But if your timeline is correct, you had unprotected sex with your husband and you cheated with protection the day before your period was due, so your husband is most likely the father.
Ovulation occurs on day 12-14 before your period starts, which is your most fertile period.
Your period was about to start when you had protected sex.
DNA testing involves taking samples from you, your husband and your son, and may cause a lot of needless upset.
Find out more from Cellmark (cellmark.co.uk, 0800 036 2522) which provides confidential, conclusive, court-approved DNA tests.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
My husband, 48 says he no longer wants to have sex- I don’t feel attractive
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A safe forum to talk freely would help you process your guilt feelings.
You can find an approved counsellor through BACP, the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300).
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