‘My dad doesn’t want to pay for my wedding since getting divorced for 4th time’

My dad has announced he won’t pay for my wedding after all.

Despite promising me £10,000, when my fiancé proposed last year, he’s withdrawing funding.

The reason? His fourth marriage has just collapsed and he has apparently decided that he no longer believes in the institution of marriage.

Plus, his latest divorce is going to cost him a fortune.

He rants that he’s doing me a favour; that he’s saving me from a life of misery and servitude.

But this is unfair. My two elder sisters got cash towards their nuptials and both enjoyed dream weddings in beautiful locations and never looked more radiant.

Why must I be denied my big day just because his latest wife has run off with a younger man and is demanding a fortune?

I love my fiancé to pieces. We’re so good for each other and my Dad genuinely likes him too, but says I’ll not get a penny for
a dress or reception because he’s seen the light.

He says I deserve to have a better life and that being someone’s wife is nothing to aspire to.

But I disagree; surely it’s up to me how I proceed from here? I’m over 21; I work and function as a successful adult and know my own mind. My sisters swear they’d never speak to him again if he pulled a stunt like that on them, but I have no wish to fall out with my own Dad.

He’s always looked out for me in the past. Where do we go from here when our relationship is in tatters? The man is as stubborn as a mule – but, then, so am I.

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JANE SAYS:

Sadly, you can’t physically prise money out of your father’s tightened fist.

If he is in the throws of yet another difficult break-up and faces an expensive divorce, it seems unlikely he has any cash to give. It’s very unfortunate, for you, that you’re the third daughter.

Your sisters clearly got their handouts during the good times, but times have clearly changed.

My advice to you is not to let this matter get to you.

Don’t allow your father’s beliefs to sour the relationship you enjoy with your fiancé. The chances are you won’t be able to organise a big wedding for a very long time, so concentrate on enjoying each day as it comes and just see what happens down the line.

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A lot of people are under a lot of pressure right now. I’m by no means building up your hopes, but he could change his mind again in future.

Go back to your Dad and tell him you have no wish to fall out. Start saving a lot more of your own money.

It could be that you’ll have the wedding of your dreams one day, but you’ll have to pay for the event yourself.

It’s sad that his attempts at marriage haven’t worked out, but you’re an individual and that doesn’t mean that you have to eschew the institution yourself.

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