DEAR DEIDRE CAN a leopard change its spots?
My husband is an alcoholic and was controlling and emotionally abusive.
I was desperately unhappy for years, and three months ago I took our children and left him. I am 35 and he is 38.
I feel broken and not ready for any kind of relationship, but my husband has been sober since shortly after I left and is promising that we can have a happy future together.
I’m not sure. Has he really changed?
Leaving was so traumatic I don’t want it all to have been in vain.
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DEIDRE SAYS: He may have been sober for a couple of months but I hear all too often of partners who revert to their old ways once they have their old life back.
Give it at least a year. Tell him you are not closing the door but you need to heal yourself first before you can even think of reconciling.
My e-leaflet Dealing With A Drinker explains support for you both.
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