When Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods were spotted in an TikTok video together for the first time in years, after infamously falling out, the public were intrigued.
The pair were also pictured together during the summer, when they were seen leaving a sushi restaurant.
Friends come and go – but then, it seems, some friends come back.
Reconnecting with a friend can benefit us mentally, as a report from the American Psychological Association found that reaching out to a long-lost friend can cause an increase in ‘positive feelings’ for both you and the friend.
We’re social and sentimental creatures – when looking at romantic breakups, a study found 44% of people who broke up got back together again.
Bad blood and drifting doesn’t have to last forever, and these Metro.co.uk readers show there’s a way to move forward.
We joke that Matt Cardle from X-Factor saved our friendship
Charly Lewis, 35, and Carly Turner, 35, are close friends living in London.
They met at school, but became close when they both moved to London.
‘In 2010, we found ourselves living in the same area of London and in similar stages of life,’ Charly says. ‘That was it! We became close very quickly and had the best (and most wild!) time together.’
But, Charly notes that the pair have fallen out ‘spectacularly’ on two occasions.
‘The first time was a long, long time ago and I genuinely can’t remember why,’ she says.
‘We didn’t speak for about six months. But I heard through mutual friends that Carly was unwell, so I felt as though I needed to get in touch – but wasn’t sure how to make that first step.
‘I was working in TV and we had the singer Matt Cardle in for interview. I knew Carly had loved him on The X Factor so I cheekily asked if I could take a photo of him holding a sign saying: “Get well soon Carly” and I sent it to her.
‘We put everything that had happened behind us and slotted right back to where we had been. We also joke about how Matt Cardle saved our friendship.’
They then fell out again more than 10 years later, in 2021.
‘The catalyst was that I felt left out and didn’t address it very well. We didn’t speak for about a year. I’d been thinking about Carly though as I’d heard a song we loved on the radio, and then bizarrely she messaged that day just asking how I was. We met up and chatted and both wanted the friendship to work again.’
They missed each other when they weren’t talking and compared it to a romantic breakup.
‘I don’t think we give enough thought to how upsetting the break up of a platonic relationship can be,’ Charly continues.
‘There is still a lot that reminds you of them as you go about your daily life and you have so many fun memories that can come back and make you feel sad to not have that person in your life anymore.
‘I feel as a society we have sympathy for when you break up with a partner but less understanding of friendships ending.
‘We are so glad that we are friends again! I think it says a lot that we’ve been through bad times but still value one another enough to want the friendship to work. It makes our friendship stronger.
‘It’s so brilliant to have someone who knows everything about you, including the bad sides, and still wants to be mates.
‘I think some friendships will come and go, and that’s fine. And then there are a rare few that you will never be able to replace and you can’t let them go!’
Being uninvited to her wedding left me devastated
Laura Sylvester, 32, and Ruby Henderson, 35, are both from Preston and met at a charity fashion show they were both taking part in, when they were aged 19 and 22, respectively.
Laura says: ‘I remember connecting with her as, like me, she was quite quiet, and different from the other girls, with her fiery red hair and pale skin.
‘We had so much in common it felt like I’d known her for years, so we promised to stay in touch after the show, but we forgot to take each other’s details.
‘A couple of years later, I was in hospital and one of my tutors mentioned a girl at college that seemed to be going through something similar and that maybe I could talk to her – it turned out to be her! From there we became really close friends.
‘But then in 2014 she sent me an invitation to her wedding which was an honour. But as time got nearer to the wedding, I received a Facebook message from her saying they were having to reduce the numbers for the wedding and were only have close friends and family.
‘I wasn’t included and therefore could not come to the wedding.
‘As you’d imagine, I was absolutely devastated. I didn’t feel important or like I mattered enough as a friend to her.’
From that point on, the friends stopped speaking – bar an occasional message here and there.
‘We spoke briefly over messages, mainly for advice through some difficult times,’ Laura explains. ‘In 2017 when I was in a unwell she told me she was coming to visit me in hospital and bring some essentials – then she didn’t get in touch for two years.
‘In 2019 she gave birth and I sent her a message to congratulate her.
‘I did miss her and I thought of her a lot, as I still had her on Facebook, so I would see updates. It felt hard not being part of her life. Despite what had happened, she still meant a lot to me.’
In lockdown, they finally met up for the first time in years.
‘Since 2020 we began speaking again properly, like nothing had ever happened,’ she continues.
‘I never felt bitter, I always knew deep down we’d be in each other’s lives, people just go through things and that’s okay. I’m not the type of person to hold grudges.
‘Our friendship now is even closer and couldn’t be better. We’ve been through a lot together, she means a lot to me and always will no matter what happens.
‘I’m a great believer in things happening for a reason, but it’s clear that we were always meant to be friends. I adore her deeply, she’s a wonderful person.’
Reuniting with friends after a fallout
Sarah Kauter, a qualified life coach and founder of the Athena Method, says:
‘Consider the specific situation that led to your friendship breakdown. Did you have a massive row, or just drift apart? If the tension between you stems from something that’s abnormal for your relationship and not a pattern or ongoing occurrence, then that’s a solid basis for a reunion.
‘If you are the friend who’s being told you’ve caused upset, it’s important that you’re open minded about the situation. If you can’t take accountability, the situation won’t be resolved. Ultimately, you must both be willing to listen, accept wrongdoing, respect one another’s feelings, and make positive changes moving forward.’
‘After reigniting a friendship, you must both outline your respective boundaries so that you don’t feel disrespected again moving forward. Explain why you’re upset, the action that caused this, and why it triggered a reaction, so your friend can better understand you and prevent this reoccurring in the future. Communication is key.’
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