If days had feelings, Blue Monday would be furious right about now. Hurt too, at being so unappreciated.
People were scared of it, moaned about it, were relieved when it was over, when actually it should have been celebrated.
Blue Monday is a gift… the cherry on the delicious cake that is January. It’s criminally misunderstood.
It has great intentions. It’s trying to help us. Just like January, it’s there to redress the balance, repair all the damage December did.
December is misunderstood in the other way, you see. Just because it’s got Christmas in it, it gets away with murder. It’s a baddie, disguised by fairy lights and tinsel.
December is as unforgiving as it is demanding. That bitch never lets up. It dictates that we be merry and sociable no matter what’s going on in our lives – 31 days of enforced jollity, building up to the most high stakes night of the year, New Year’s Eve.
Then, we wake up the next morning in the easy-going, accepting arms of January, and instead of being grateful, we whinge about it.
January is a respite. January doesn’t only ask nothing of us – it fully gives us permission to be miserable and grumpy if we want to. We can go straight from ho ho ho to no no no, and January is absolutely fine with that. January is selfless, and always there for us. And Blue Monday is an extension of that – carte blanche to be glum. It’s a no-pressure day in a sheer relief of a month.
Rather than vilifying Blue Monday, we should extend the concept, and roll it out.
We should all be more Blue Monday, all the time.
If you start searching for the secret to happiness, having a Positive Mental Attitude is always something that’s immediately recommended. But what if the real secret is that the opposite is true?
Exhibit A: my friend got married at the weekend. She sent me a message the day afterwards, saying how much she’d enjoyed the day.
This friend – like me, actually – had dreaded her wedding. Everything about it made her cringe, from all the embarrassing attention to something that sounds like a scene from a nightmare rather than a genuine tradition – having to dance while everyone you know stands round and watches.
But – again, like me – she ended up having a lovely time.
It made me wonder – do those intense bridezillas who are certain their weddings will be the best day of their lives ever enjoy them? Or is it just the people who fear the opposite?
Having a Positive Mental Attitude can surely only lead to disappointment. Having a Negative Mental Attitude, on the other hand, seems to be a sure fire winner.
If you constantly expect the worst, you will only ever be pleasantly surprised – or proved right. Win win.
And if you really work on your dreading skills, nothing can ever really be as bad as you imagine it will.
Blue Monday: it’s not just a day, it’s a way of life.
So there you go – 21 days into 2020 and I’ve already achieved true enlightenment.
Just like the Dalai Lama probably did when he made it here, now I can get back to Love Island.
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